I agree there's too much hand holding in video games these days. Or at least they are doing it in an obnoxious way. There's been plenty of times when I have shut down a game during its tutorial. Not because it was too hard, but because I felt so insulted by the condescending tone that I couldn't bear to continue. And since I never got through their tutorials, I never played those games.
That being said, I do sense a difference between an art audience and a games audience. An art audience is naturally inquisitive and delights in being surprised or put on the wrong foot. A games audience is far more passive. And they often actually appreciate being guided, even in their interpretation. I intuitively feel the same as you: don't tell people what to do, just let them explore. But with videogames I feel I need to force myself to help players, otherwise many won't find that thing that they might like in my work.
The best experiences in cultural things I had, when nobody told me what to think or how to perceive a work.
I think you might be underestimating the things you did learn, along the course of your life, that help you enjoy a certain work. I feel that videogames tap into the knowledge people already have far to little. They always want to invent new rules. But there's plenty of rules and habits and experiences in the real world that can be used in a virtual context.
